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You underestimate how much others appreciate your kindness.
People consistently expect their expressions of gratitude to be less impactful than they actually are to the recipient.
The sender focuses on the risk of being awkward, while the receiver focuses on the warmth of the gesture. You worry about the delivery, but the recipient only registers the acknowledgment. Your hesitation to be kind often rests on a fear that the other person won't care.
The person you thanked likely valued it far more than you dared to hope.
Where this comes from
- Study
- Kumar and Epley, 2018, Psychological Science
- What the check found
- Kumar and Epley (2018) consistently demonstrate that senders suffer from a systematic miscalibration regarding the impact of their gratitude.
- Confidence
- Well replicated
Related
One of these every day, and every one names the study it came from. When a finding is contested, it says so.